Our first time outside Tokyo (not counting the rest of our lives...)

So, it's a bank holiday weekend coming up.  What shall we do?  On the spur of the moment, our answer was 'get away'.  We saw Hakone advertised in the paper, checked it out in the books and it appeared to be a classic trip out of Tokyo.  So we made a quick booking online, cut and ran.  Except, in Japan.  You book things well in advance.  WELL in advance.  So, it appears after many phone calls with limited Japanese and checking online, there is only one place in hakone to stay all weekend.  For only one night.  Well, any old pig in a poke, so off we went.  Woke up at six, were in Hakone by 10, then the queueing began.  Hundreds of Nihonjin all in front of us.  Old people appear to have some sort of queue exemption here, so that added more time as they rudely shoved past with nary a care in the world, probably muttering under their breath about how rude the young are.  Oh well, some things are cross-cultural I suppose.  So we queued and eventually got on the next train.  They say in all the books that it's spectacular, but we were quite bored.  So we jumped off and went to the sculpture park along the way.

This place was amazing.  We've found the museums and galleries here to be hit and miss at the best of times.  Frankly, compared to London, Tokyo seems to be way behind in this respect.  Hakone's in the greater tokyo area so I guess it counts as restoring some of that imbalance.  Quite frankly one of the best places I've been to in a long time.  Well set, well curated and fantastically accessible.  Good old H.Moore was there as well as plenty of Japanese names I can't remember right now but perhaps the arty-farty ones reading this might be able to enlighten us.  We're only peasants.  A real testament to how good art can be when people let it be.  It was sad to be leaving comparatively quickly because we could have spent the day there.  As it was we spent well over our expected time.  So back to te queueing it was.  The next one took the biscuit.  We waiting an hour to go on a funicular which took us 600m up a hill.  We could have walked it three times, and it would've been more fun.  Lesson learned, although Em was glad to sing the funicular song.  At the top of the  hill was, yes, another queue.  Hundreds of people waiting for the cable car.  A beard-growing session later and we were on our penultimate transport.  Halfway along we swung over the crest of a hill and the Japanese in the carriage burst into life.  Eeeeee!  Eeeee!  What?  What's going on?  They can see Fuji.  So could we.  We took photos but they don't really work.  Awesome.  Just like from the Tocho building, it's so much better in real life.  We took snaps for the blog then settled down and enjoyed the view.

Halfway along the cable car is a chance to stop at Hell Valley and enjoy poisonous fumes and the stench of sulphur.  Disappointing is the word.  Great views though.  Plus we got to eat black eggs.  They're cooked in the hot springs so they reek of rotten eggs (great idea) but taste normal.  7 years get added to your life for every one you eat.  Perhaps this explains why the Japanese live so long.  After all, every coffin-dodger in the land seemed to be visiting Hakone at the same time as us and getting in our way.  Or rather, barging us out of their way.  Someone also brought their dog there.  I felt for the poor thing with its hyper-sensitive nose.  The place was bad enough for us.  I felt for it having to wear denim dungarees too.

So, finally we arrived at the lakeshore in time to take the pirate boat across to lake Ashinoko.  Great views of Fuji but it was dark.  So there were great views of the inside of a ferry.  Ship looks cool from the outside but so boring from the inside.  Yawn.  Eventually we docked and made it to the guest house.  Safety.  We gave in our passport details so the state knew where we were and set off for dinner by the lakeside.  We took the guesthouse's map and used the short cut which turned out to be straight down the side of a mountain forest in the dark.  There was a trail though, so we used our phones to light the way and aimed for the lights at the bottom, singing "there's a light..." all the way.  After almost turning ankles and disturbing several spiders webs, not to mention sending a dozen blank text messages to Suzy, we hit the bottom.  We ate noodles made with sesame then went back up the hill cause Motohakone is boring as hell.  Or rather boring as heaven.  If either existed.  Which they don't.

The next morning we had a lovely 'Western' breakfast in the kind guesthouse owner's kitchen before heading out at the crack of dawn.  Well, seven o clock.  We looked at where panoramic views of Fuji were meant to be then saw the old Tokaido.  Samurai movie/manga geek heaven.  We bumped into early morning fishermen drinking beer and saw the old checkpoint.  Men would be killed for attempting to leave without the correct papers (bureacracy is traditional here).  Women got off with shaved heads and being sold to anyone that would have them.  Both were tortured heavily first.  Just like Europe really...

After the checkpoint it was time to get out to Yunessun.  This is a sort of Swindon Oasis but with hot baths.  So the idea is that there are 30(!) variants on hot baths.  Hot baths with tea, sake, charcoal, wine etc.  Hot baths in caves, under waterfalls.  Hot baths in Turkish, Roman, Greek settings.  Hot baths...well...you get the idea.  It was, like everything else in Hakone, very busy.  And of course, this being Japan, you can merrily visit the vending machines, shops and cafes while you're there.  Fancy an Asahi beer while you're in the bath?  No problem.  We also split up for the Mori No Yu naked zone.  Outside, birthday suit, rain, single degree temp, hot rock bath.  Bliss.  Even Em overcame nervousness and ended up enjoying it, though rather bored by lack of anyone to talk to.  Hokkaido apparently has lots of unisex baths, so maybe we should go there.

After that, it was time to wearily queue up for the homewards trip.  We really enjoyed ourselves and had a great time.  It was nice to get out and see not Tokyo.  For all of it's big-city wonder, it's nice to see the country every now and again.  As long as one can scramble back to civilisation before having to marry one's siblings it's not so bad.  Soon we'll go and visit the snow monkeys.